Sunday, August 21, 2016


It is fair to say I have zero friends. There is not one person who checks in on me on a daily basis to see how I am doing.

Part of that is my fault I am sure. It isn't because I'm not a friendly person, but I've grown so isolated over the last several years that I doubt I could cultivate a meaningful friendship if I tried. I could have done so with the ladies at church, but I always felt that I didn't fit in because I wasn't there all the time and hadn't been part of the "gang". 

Even with social media, I had hoped connecting with family on Facebook would lead to more interaction with them. I do not live near any family members.  I'm not part of their daily lives so no one cares to check up on me. It is up to me to check up on them....ALL of them...ALL of the time.

Sadly, I've grown quite resentful and I don't know how to handle it. It is heartbreaking that no one cares enough to check on us.  My husband, when he is working, is gone for weeks at a time. My boys, though practically grown up, have never known the closeness of family or what that means.

Some days it feels like if the four of us disappeared, no one would even notice.

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